When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry Janu...

At first of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Basic issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t a denying that sober curiosity has elevated not too long ago. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. In the present day we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re interested by a sober (utterly alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy consuming as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private resolution, however for those who’re any form of an everyday drinker (that means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other approach. In case you’re not consuming in the course of the week, however then consuming a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her ebook, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for no less than 4 weeks offers clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely is just not doable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any thought how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It normally takes a number of weeks on your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually depends upon what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see for those who might make it with out consuming for 30 days? Or had been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your consuming has elevated over the previous few years and you recognize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is actually what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. In case you spend lots of time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which results in lots of “guidelines” round your consuming, you would possibly need to take a step again.

You may not even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply develop into a part of your inside chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No consuming earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol in the course of the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The tip days of my consuming had been full of elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been always shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that form of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your consuming. You would possibly simply determine that it’s not value it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I do not need an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions must be explored when interested by alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round consuming and the idea that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and practical, mannequin to make use of relating to speaking about alcohol is the thought of consuming occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t must hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you possibly can discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

In case you’re able to get sincere with the function alcohol performs in your life, I might counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does consuming align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our buddies have gone again to consuming after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you may have ideas/suggestions for find out how to make this a part of my life-style with my consuming buddies? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to search out new buddies – haha. However, critically, if your mates really respect and assist you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently making an attempt to push you to begin consuming once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, then you definitely would possibly must rethink who you’re spending time with. That you must determine for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your buddy group is closely immersed in consuming tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definitely would possibly want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to interchange that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most fundamental sober individual round – and I’m pleased with consuming a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing just a little extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. In case you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s form of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam